something sad
it's sad when everyone else respects someone so much but i'm the only who can't. it's sad because i know him well enough and i know what he's trying to do to me. even more sad because he doesn't know me anymore, he doesn't know that all he's doing is hurting me. still sadder that he doesn't want to know.
my life is sad right now.
i didn't get into Azusa Pacific University. doubt i'll get into Trinity Western in BC. all i do is work and go to shows (i have a sleuth of concerts lined up, my only happiness). it's takes all my energy everyday to rely on God for hope and not breakdown. i think i need to just breakdown, but i'm putting that off as long as possible. i miss vancover and the rest of BC that we saw. i miss having a friend around all the time who makes me laugh so much (nate church last night was full of "that's sooo good" by multiple people! i almost lost it completely). it's sad that the only thing i want to do right now is drown all this in corona, but i can't because i've adopted 'no excuses-for myself or anyone else' as a motto for 2006. i don't want to talk about it either, so the most i can do is post about it.
posted by kaylie @ 9:37 AM
5 Comments:
Mike is the past. As much as you don't want that to be true it is.
Concerts are distractions, and that's not true happiness. If someone doesn't care that they are hurting you, they are not worth hurting over. All my words are going in one ear and out the other. Because your hurt and you don't want to heal. I get it K.
Life has a purpose, apply to another school, invest in new people. I know it's scary but it works. The past in the foundation for the future good or bad use it.
love you
Hey team. thats it. I love ya
when you come back to bc I will hug you even if you aren't wearing your hugging t-shirt on k?! ok.
you dont have to waste all your energy on trusting god. just let go. am listening.
ps. chair dancing is the coolest. thanks for the mem's dearest. i hope they made you smile as they made me smile.
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