late night poems are my favorite, i swear cummings, dickinson, hughes-never got any sleep

i am alone
people are being together
i am here alone
asking if this is what i'm destinted
since GOD gave his life
i am asked for mine entirely
the privileges and choices they have
even they struggle with their distance
i struggle with my jealousy

terrified at the thought to have what they found
sad simple sadness to never have
what they found

i'm lonely and i miss him
i will always miss him
even though he's so close
can i put aside him for hope of you?
with your distance still?

even still will you emulate this hope?
questions i don't know
make me wonder
(will anyone recognize what i can't say)