i realised today that i go to church with Dating Delilah. good band.

so my birthday came and went. so did rediculous drunkeness (a complete understatement). saw Ben Lashes again, kissed me again. he looked tired, it was cute. new tattoo is larger than originaly expected. better like this though. hopefully i'll see Dawn tonight. she wants to go to Mars Hill.
i need to move out. my house is feeling suffocating. my mum lately is asking too many questions. she wants me to open up to her and tell exactly what's wrong. i don't even know what's wrong and i can't talk until i know what's wrong exactly. it's always been this way with me, with talking with Rich years ago and Josh last year, and Courtnay lately. i can't talk about what i'm feeling until i know and understand what is i'm feeling. i think it's because i refuse to sound like a bumbling stupid girl. and i like conclusions.
i'm entertaining the idea of my own place, no roommates. no how was your day. no we need coffee. no get out of the bathroom i have to pee. no loud obnoxious top 40 radio in my sister's room. just me and Gatsby American Dream and makeup spread out on the counter and my beer and limes. a tiny teeny studio in dirty capitol hill.