my biggest fear and criticism with unity in the church is uniformity.

so often i feel judged and criticised in church; if i'm honest with people, and we can't have unity (or much at all) without honesty. i know that i seem like i don't care what people think of me but like courtnay said i do and i'm sensitive. which, from past experiences with the church, makes me distance myself and be standoffish in church. it's individuals that make up the body of Christ and it's that individuality that should not be lost in creating unity. God Himself created these individuals.
i know i'm not a typical Christian culture scence kid. there's a list i almost posted on how much i don't fit into church culture, but there's not much of a point in me posting it.

i agree with Pam 100% on the need for unity in church before loving the non-Christians, because trust me our dissension is one of the biggest criticism against the Christian faith. so we need to fix that pronto. but the practicality of that happening is low when so many feel ostracized in church circles. i know i do. many would now say that it's my fault and my insecurities but how did you react to me when you first meet me? i've heard so many times that people thought i didn't grow up Christian, well nope i've been a Christian all my life.

it hurts that i feel like i can't be honest with Christians; i value honesty highly and the flipside of me not feeling like i can be honest is that i don't say much at all and thus connect with no one in the church. i mean what do i have in common with a bunch of quiet republican girls who just want to get married. NOTHING! i'm a loud socialist who misses sex more than i miss anything from Capernwray and marriage is scary to even type at this moment. i don't like Christian music because it has cheesy lyrics and bad music quality. if i don't like Celine Dion why am i suppose to like Crystal Lewis just because she's a Christian? i could go on about how Bush's war is constitutionly illegal and how i think Jesus was a socialist, but those were included in aforementioned list i earlier deleted.

basically i'm saying that there is a cookie cutter Christian mold that i don't fit into and it interrupts our unity when we exclude people. so we can talk about the need for unity but if we don't widen our idea of what being a Christian looks (i said looks in reference to appearence so please don't have a blasphemy hissyfit) like than we will never acheive unity at all. i think acceptance is lacked in the church so much in fear of becoming a Unitarian Universalist, but we're regressing back to Puritianism. maybe i'm too liberal but i like to call it relaxed. it's okay to not be pressed and creased and politically correct all the time. Jesus was probably dirty from traveling everywhere and sleeping wherever so it's okay to not take a shower everyday. don't brush your hair for a month and then try to watch the grammy's or oscars or whatever rediculous award show was just on and see how long you last. fucking relax and let people be who God made them to be!

*this was suppose to be and started off as a serious heartfelt post but i'm in too much of a good mood that i can't not be funny!