and now recent times...

so last night i went on an official date! it was so much fun! he's a customer at my smoothie place. he's half serbian and half mexican and i made him take me to a mexican restrauant, but hey i spent 9 months in england without my favorite type of food. he's really funny and makes me laugh. i like him. i still can't believe i went on a date, first in about 2 years. his name is Zivan, so hott, just like the name Kenya!

ok so i know it's been a week since i went to oregon

and now i'm finally updating, but hey i've been busy.

well first i must tell you the funniest story about ms. Leslie Fiddler. she emailed me a few weeks ago and commented on her/mine blog (not sure which one) about not being able to see me when she was in tronoto. hmm interesting you say, because i live in seattle. well, friday morning as i was driving down to oregon, she called. she said "i'm in tronoto." and i said "that's cool" she then said "do you want to hang out" and me being very confused said "i'm in seattle..." and our dear Leslie responded "oh crap! i thought you were in tronoto!" she for some reason thought i was living in tronoto, knowing very well i'm from seattle. we're not to sure how she came up with this idea i was in tronoto, but the fact that she did was hilarious! i laughed my head off for a good straight 10 minutes! Leslie dear how do you come up with these things?

well my baby niece was the cutest thing i have ever seen. i love her and took a billion pictures and i will post a few soon, maybe sunday. i LOVE her!

my dad's an ass. i pretend to be asleep after he started giving me advice, i was just telling a funny story from camp to make conversation!!
nate my dear, you are awesome! keeping me sane with the text messages so i can be preoccupied with something and let off steam from being stuck in a car with the man they call my father! thank you and you are a good friend and airline employee.

my baby neice!

we're actually finally going down to Grant's Pass, Oregon tomorrow to see my new baby neice, and my brother and his wife. we got pictures of my neice on tuesday, she is so cute! she's so chubby, i love it. and she has the cherokee eyes my dad, my brother, and me all have. my dad mother is 3/4 cherokee. i looked like an asian baby when i was born, black hair, little, tiny dark, slanted eyes, it's so funny.
I'm so excited because i haven't seen her at all yet.
and my dad is going to be there....he's driving down from Alaska and should be here in seattle today and me and him are going to drive down together, because my dad is going hunting with my brother this weekend. yea 7 hours alone in a car with him, somebody sedate me! myabe i can pretend to be asleep the whole time.

late night poems are my favorite, i swear cummings, dickinson, hughes-never got any sleep

i am alone
people are being together
i am here alone
asking if this is what i'm destinted
since GOD gave his life
i am asked for mine entirely
the privileges and choices they have
even they struggle with their distance
i struggle with my jealousy

terrified at the thought to have what they found
sad simple sadness to never have
what they found

i'm lonely and i miss him
i will always miss him
even though he's so close
can i put aside him for hope of you?
with your distance still?

even still will you emulate this hope?
questions i don't know
make me wonder
(will anyone recognize what i can't say)

e.e. cummings and k.m. wilson

e.e. cummings
life is more true than reason will deceive
(more secret or than madness did reveal)
deeper is life than lose:higher than have
-but beauty is more each than living's all

multiplied with infinity sans if
the mightiest meditations of mankind
cancelled are by one merely opening leaf
(beyond whose nearness there is no beyond)

or does some littler bird than eyes can learn
look up to silence and completely sing?
futures are obsolete;pasts are unborn
(here less than nothing's more than everything)

death,as men call him,ends what they call men
-but beauty is more now than dying's when

k.m. wilson
i feel far from you
yet you still amaze me
it seems so long since i've thanked you
but i am still grateful
when was the last time i said i love you
even so you will always love me
everyday, i become more and more aware of how much i need you
i lapse, i lapse into this abyss that deafens my senses of you
then i feel far from you
even when you are closer than before
remind me to lean on you
to rely on you
because i still love you

e.e. cummings
how should touching hearing seeing
breathing any-lifted from the no
of all nothing-human merely being
doubt unimaginable you?

(and the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are optional)

kittens

i got to talk to Rebecca Jones (spring school roomie) the night before last! Nate Smith called while i was talking to her; i told him 20 mins but 20 mins turned into an hour and half. sorry phiune.

i'm housesitting for my cousins and they have a new baby kitten! he's so tiny and he squeaks! i love him! but he kept waking me up last night...he's kinda needy.
i get to drive my cousin's audi also. a very nice car. car

i have a lot tips i need to deposit, it's getting up to the 'i want to carry that much cash' around status. i did buy a new camera, well not new but pretty new. i bought from this guy i used to work with at kit's cameras. it's a nikon n65, a slr film camera. it's really nice and fun. i got the camera, lense, 3 filters, a bag, and tripod for 200 dollars. the camera itself sells at 179.00, so a good deal and i'm happy and it's the camera i was going to buy anyways.